Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Why am I feeling so picked on?

I am driving myself crazy! It really irritates me when I feel like this, but I can't get out of the slump I have been in all week. Because a few things in my life aren't going just as I want them to I am feeling all picked on and that life isn't fair. So what, Right!! I know its life. I don't usually do this because I don't express how I feel too well but I just wanted to write down a few things that I am grateful for and get me thinking of all the reasons why I am not picked on.

  • Owen- He really has been working so hard and I am really crazy sometimes and he does do a lot! a) He started the laundry for me (because I was going on a "refuse to do it trip" b) He cleaned up after dinner c) He makes me laugh d) He makes me cry e) He wants me to be a better person f) When I got really mad because he didn't park in the closest parking space to the door to Payless yesterday he had moved to the closest spot by the time I got out of the store. Lots of other things I know but the list could go on and Owen hates when people brag about the husbands, but in defense I am not bragging I am just remembering the things I love about him today.
  • My mommy- I am so glad I have her to call at anytime of the day. She is my bestest friend! Poor Owen would never have anything to eat if not for her...since I have to call my mom about every other day asking her how to cook something. She is the best listener. She listens to me have my screaming fits and then she listens to me cry my eyes out. She always has a better attitude then me and is always looking on the brighter side of things. I know there is nothing my mom wouldn't do for me and even though I might act put out, I know there is nothing I wouldn't do for her.
  • The fact that we do have "enough" money. When things get tight and the Amex gets high I get super stressed! But somehow we are able to pay everything off and still get the things needed.
  • The two missionaries in our families: My brother Jacob and my brother in-law Nick. Jacob is serving in Texas and Nick in Canada. They are a strength to me. I read their emails and their letters and it makes me want to be better and to really strive to center everything I do around the gospel. I see their strength and I am in awe by it. I wish I could be more like them and I strive to have more missionary moments in my life.
  • Gas Prices!! Need I say more? We are at $1.47 today at Maverick!
  • Christmas! I am so excited for Christmas and the whole spirit of Christmas. I love the Christmas shows the lights, the decor, the nativity scene, the excitement, the snow, the everything!
  • The gospel! What a blessing! It really is a comfort. I have a new calling as a Relief Society teacher and I am so grateful to be learning more about the life of Joseph Smith. I am grateful to know that my prayers are heard and that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, for me. For the scriptures, for blessings and for everything else we are given!
  • Kosmo: I know he is a dog, I know I know. But it is so much fun when I come home from work and he is going a million miles an hour because he is so excited to see me. To be honest I wish Owen would act half as excited as Kosmo to see me.
  • Health: I really am grateful for the good health I have. I work with many children that have severe health problems and it makes me so grateful for mine and my families health.
  • Technology etc. Wow, I think of the pioneers and I don't know if I could have done what they did. I do know that the people that would have traveled with me would want to die because they wouldn't want to hear me complain anymore. Owen always tells me that I am never comfortable...too hot, too cold, too stuffed, too get the point. But really I am so grateful for cars, refrigerators, vacuums, computers, t.v., phones, all that jazz!
  • Families! I have been so blessed with my immediate family as well as all my extended family and then even more blessed with a great in-law family! I couldn't ask for anything better. I cherish each of these relationships, what they have taught and done for me and for being great examples! I can't name everyone but to name a few...

Dad: Always teaching me patience (by testing mine). He has been a great example in my life, he doesn't seem to think so but I love him for who he is, all his faults and all. I have seen my dad hold back tears watching his children succeed, I have seen him feel the spirit and start those deep breaths (controlling his tears). He is like me in a lot of ways and I am proud to be his daughter. Like me, he is hard as rock on the outside but once the shell breaks just a little he's all nice and soft.

Colette: Always worrying about others and always asking and listening.

Aaron: For always finding a way to make the family laugh.

Jill: Always there to be a friend. I can talk with her about all areas of life.

Tyler: For doing anything I please. He looks for things he can do for me. He always is rubbing my shoulders and texting me just to talk. I am jealous that he is in drama--sure wish I would have done it in High School.

Stephen and Christine: I look at both of them and I really do think they are some of the greatest parents! They are a great example to both Owen and me.

Kinley: Such a sweet spirit. I loved it this weekend at the Turkey Tourney when she ran up to me and gave me hug!

Erica: For always thinking of me and asking me to go on a walk and talk or to come have dinner.

Grandma Rose: Gave me the love of jewelery! She is also one of the most giving people I know and for always supporting and loving my Grandpa 100%.

Grandpa Gary: Having a mind of his own. Not letting anyone budge his views. Always tickling hands and always showing his pompous look. Also him and Grandma always teaching us the importance of family and keeping close to them.

Marvin: For bugging me to death until I break down and have to say I love him and give him a hug even when I don't want to.

Uncle Mark: For teasing me when I was little and helping me get the back bone I have now.

Grandpa Norman: Being the best example of a supporting husband and the most selfless person.

Grandma Leola (Idaho): Teaching me patience and how to deal with her son. Her love for the gospel is amazing and her homemaking skills...sure wish I had more of em'.

Lisa: Teaching me the ways of life. Being blunt, practical, and passionate. Holy cow being super mom...sports, dance, babies, food, Mike, etc.

Jann: Another super mom... Really everything she does, she can deal with these Hoyt boys better than me! Hopefully after 35 years I can be as good as her at, cleaning, sewing, dealing, and supporting. I love the way she gets ralled up over sports at Valley high, the way she is supportive but she has her own thoughts too, and she isn't afraid to show those feelings.

Pani: Teaching me how to juggle (not literally). Giving me the opportunity to help with the quads, and always being ready to talk. I remember visiting her in California and watching her kneel in prayer for LONG amounts of time. She was an example to me of how important the gospel is in our lives. Have Faith!!

Kori: Miracles do happen! For thinking of are such a sweetheart! Always being easy to talk to. I remember two conversations I had with Kori when Owen and I were dating that made me feel welcome with the Hoyt's and I always knew I had a friend in her.

Easton: For always calling me aunt April...still weird to me. And for always being animated! Holy cow!

Hilary: For being the sister I never had. For always pushing me to my limits to be better and to always letting us just be us. Laughing so hard we cried.

Jim: Being smart and technical and protective of your garage. Laughing out loud at the Office and making me laugh harder. And mostly for teaching hard work and dedication!

Justin: For literally bugging the hell out of me, but in the end still loving me and trying more to not being the annoying little brother. He thinks he doesn't like Kosmo more than Max but I know the truth. For always asking if I am going to be to his baseball or basketball games and really caring if I go.

Jani: For the walk and the sassy attitude--no body can stop me.

Okay well I know there is so many other people that I love and am so grateful for who I didn't mention here but seriously I could be here for hours...but moral of the story is that I do feel better and really I am not picked on and I know that, I am so blessed! It's just been one of those weeks ya know. Up with you chiny chin chin up! Lookin' on the bright side!!


Anonymous said...

Oh my how did the tears flow honey! I love you so much and I am so proud of you for opening up and letting it all out for a change. It's great to really ponder on the many things we are thankful for. I am thankful for you, my best friend in the world! You are the best! Thanks for always being there for me.
Love, Mom

The Bonham Family said...

I feel that way too sometimes...Okay lately a lot! I need to count my blessings. Thanks for being thankful for me. I'm also thankful for you. I'm so glad you married my brother. He is one lucky guy!

Michelle said...

I think all of us have days like you're having. You're not alone. It's always good to think about all the things you're thankful for, good idea. I hope you start feeling better!

Kori said...

We love you Apes, Cayson is blowing kisses your way as I write this. I've had many days like you are having and I wish I could say you won't have another one but, you will. At any rate I'm proud of you for finding such a productive way of overcoming a bad day. I'll have to try it on my next bad day. Thanks for thinking of me and know that I am here for you 150%

Christine said...

You are so cute! We can't wait to see you as a mom, you'll be amazing! It is truly the most exciting, challenging and important thing you'll ever do. You go girl!